Family bonding is important to most parents. For us, it has been a long journey, and we are loving the stage we’re in now.
How do you promote family bonding? Family bonding occurs when parents and families are intentional about spending time together on a regular basis. During this time, they are actively talking, listening, laughing, playing, working, and serving as one. The result of family bonding helps the family focus and realize that their connection is one of the most important of their lives.
Many people want a checklist for family bonding. I’m one of those people!
But there are several things that need considering and much personalizing to your family’s age and situational factors to take into account.
A simple checklist I find online is not necessarily going to give me all I need to promote bonding in my family, within my home.
So what are real families doing to promote family bonding?
- One family we know bought a camper and regularly takes it to a nearby state park to spend the day or a weekend hiking, fishing, and just being together. Their kids are all under ten and can tell countless stories from their adventures.
- In another family, Mom makes daily exercise a priority. When she gets home for work, whoever is home meets her at the door, and they walk together for a half hour, laughing and talking about their day.
- When our kids were in elementary school, there was a time when, because of work and school obligations, Derek and the kids were just not seeing each other enough. We decided that every week he would take one child out for dinner at a restaurant…we have 3 kids, so each one had a special evening with Daddy every 3rd week. We didn’t eat out very often in those days, so it was a big deal, and it was special because it was focused time just with him.
As you start to think about how to incorporate intentional time, inevitably your first thought will be something related to not having enough time already! I HEAR YOU! I absolutely do.
While my children were growing up, I worked 45-60 hours most weeks of the school year. I have had the privilege and luxury of having two whole weeks off at Christmastime and six weeks in a row away from school during June and July.
And I still felt so overwhelmed and so under-timed (that’s probably not a word!).
So, how did we do it? First, we made it a priority.
I know that sounds simple. The decision was simple. The action required commitment and re-commitment, over and over again.
Daily Activities to Promote Family Bonding
One of the things we realized was that we eat every day, lol.
When kids are younger, meal time is an obvious time to attempt to develop relationships. That means physically sitting in the same place, putting away electronics during meals, and emphasizing conversation.
It won’t be picture perfect most days, and that’s not the goal anyway. But over a lifetime, it develops so many wonderful memories, along with social skills and maybe even better manners.
When our kids were in middle and high school, we were in five different directions around suppertime it seemed. For us, the only time we were definitely in the house together was the literal crack of dawn.
So, we would meet near the front door at 6:45 am, as I was heading out to work, and we would pray together.
Now, we are not the best family or the most pious, but we know where our strength comes from. It comes from the Lord.
This was a precious time. We would go around and anyone who felt led to would pray for each other, for our day, for loved ones near and far.
Let the record show: I am not a morning person.
So, if we could do this…any family can. 😀
The bottom line is that if you can find a daily practice to do together as a family, it will send a strong message to each other.
This message says that each of us is important enough to take time out of every single day just to spend together.
Weekly Activities to Promote Family Bonding
Weekly activities would include things you just {truly} don’t have time for every day.
This could be weekly chores…family bonding doesn’t just happen around exciting, fun activities. It definitely also happens in the mundane activities that make up much of our life.
Many hands make light work.
John Heywood, 1497 – 1580
If that was true in the 1500’s, it’s cool to me that it’s still true today. Chores is one area that this can really be seen.
Washing the family vehicle or even the dog are two more quick examples.
If you’re a parent of littles and you’re thinking, yeah, right, I can be finished with dusting and vacuuming the family room by the time they stop playing with the swiffer…I’m laughing and remembering when that was true at my house, too.
Just know that it won’t always be that way. I believe that the investment you make now will pay off in the future.
Maybe you have something unique you do one day a week, such as grocery shopping, getting your nails done, helping out a neighbor, or visiting a relative. How can you include one or more of your kids in this opportunity?
For our family, worshiping together at our church (or in our living room if we watch it online!) is a really strong way to bond with each other.
We also have family movie nights occasionally, but more often we have family game nights. More on that, here.
Seasonal Activities to Promote Family Bonding
Seasonal implies Spring, Summer, etc., but also includes holidays, family birthdays, work or service opportunities, and kid-specific activities.
Throughout the year, you have the opportunity to make the seasons and holidays special.
I have been hit or miss on this.
We always intend for Easter to be much more emphasized and then we “drop the ball” and it doesn’t happen. This year was no exception. Birthdays, I’m pretty terrible about those.
But sometimes, I get it right. One year starting on February 1st, I put a paper heart up on each child’s door…daily through Valentine’s Day. On each heart, I had written something I love about that child. My youngest still has her hearts and remembers it making her feel very special.
We have great memories of going to see fireworks displays on the Fourth of July, carving and decorating pumpkins in the Fall season, and countless traditions that we work to keep up every Thanksgiving and Christmas.
In addition to seasonal activities and traditions, you might consider some kind of family volunteer opportunity once or twice a year.
This might be as big as helping to pack gift-filled shoe boxes in November for Operation Christmas Child.
Or, it might be taking the time to help someone in your own neighborhood or community. Is there an older person or a person with a disability or illness who could use some help with tasks around the house or in the yard?
Service possibilities are endless. Don’t be surprised when you’re the one who is amazed and blessed by the encounter as well.
How do I know if it’s working?
Honestly, if you’re in the toddler/preschool stage…even into the elementary school age…you may have days and weeks when you’re just not seeing it.
It’s kind of like when you run into a friend who hasn’t seen your kids in six months or a year and they go on and on about how much the kids have grown!
You haven’t noticed the dramatic change because you’re in the day-to-day minutiae. But it’s happening.
They’re developing relationships with you and with each other.
They’re building concepts about what family is and how it matters.
Please don’t lose sight of the fact that they are doing this whether or not we, as parents, determine to strengthen our family bonds.
We can only do what we can do. But we can do something.
Let today be the start of something new.