Adjusting to a new school can be difficult for anyone, especially a child. You, as a parent, have plenty of ways that you can make it easier.
Helping your child adjust to a new school? Communication and positivity are key. Get involved in the community before school starts. Visit the school and meet staff before the first day of class. Have a good plan for the first day. Follow up with your kids and with their teachers, when necessary.
I’m a mom and teacher, and these are all things that I tried when our family moved twice, zigzagging across Georgia. Once was in the summertime and once was over Christmas break!
My hope is that these ideas will go a long way toward a successful and smooth transition for your family.
Conversation & Attitude: Keys for Successful School Adjustment
Communication is vital.
Don’t spring this on your kids at the last minute! Once you know or are even pretty confident that a school change is likely to happen, start talking to them about what’s going on.
Help kids to express how they’re feeling by talking to you or by drawing. Keep communication open. It’s okay for them to be angry, scared, uncertain, or unhappy.
While accepting the feelings, it’s important to remain as positive as you can.
I’m not saying you should pretend everything is sunshine and unicorns….I’m saying that it’s important to frame ideas in a positive way and to look for the promise in new situations.
Being positive about the situation gives your child confidence. They need for you to be sure for them that things will work out well.
One more thought: Don’t talk about it once and never mention it again. Kids need repetition to understand all kinds of things. A major life change that often accompanies going to a new school is one of those things.
Repeated conversations help them hash out their emotions and even give them a chance to process the problem.
At the risk of talking out of both sides of my mouth, my next suggestion is that you not make this a bigger deal than it is.
Like many things in the parenting life, pay attention to your children’s cues. Adjust your conversations to the age and needs of each child.
You may find that talking about something while you’re doing something else (like putting together a puzzle, coloring, or swinging on the swing set) is a great way to get kids to open up about how they’re feeling.
Talking is great, but, what can you do?
Visit the School Ahead of Time
- Visit the school and find your kids’ classrooms.
- Let them practice navigating from wherever they’ll arrive at school to their classrooms…so that they know where to go on the first day.
- Find the media center and the cafeteria so that they have some landmarks in their minds and don’t feel completely out of place in their new school environment.
- In addition to your kids’ teachers, meet as many faculty and staff as you can, such as the Administrators, Administrative Assistants, Custodians, Paraprofessionals, etc.
It’s no secret that many of the support staff are the heart and soul of a school building and can do so much to make your child feel welcomed and loved.
Before the First Day of School
The time leading up to the first day at the new school is some of the most critical in ensuring a smooth transition.
- Attend a local church’s VBS and sign up for swim classes or summer rec league sports or art camps.
All of these are opportunities for your kids to meet other kids their age who are likely to go to the same school (as well as have lots of fun and learn about Jesus). 🙂
- Begin to go to bed and get up according to the schedule you’ll have when school starts.
- Figure out lunch.
Let your kids decide which they would rather do–take lunch or eat in the cafeteria…at least for the first day or week of school.
If it’s not practical to do this all year, that’s fine. Tell your kids that they get to choose for the first [you decide] number of days, and then after that, they’ll need to [you fill in the blank].
This is a great way to give your kids some control over their first days when so much will feel up in the air.
- Make sure your kids know how they’re getting home on the first day of school.
If they’re riding the bus, write their bus number and bus driver’s name on something they can easily get to (like in their binder or back pack).
If the child is nervous, he or she might forget, in-the-moment, and this is a simple way to be reminded without embarrassment.
- Get some basic school supplies but don’t go crazy, especially if you don’t have a list straight from the teacher. Lots of times, the generic lists include things you won’t need and don’t include specific items your kids will need.
- Encourage them to write a letter or draw a picture to give to their new teachers.
The First Day of School
- Get up early so that you’re not rushed.
- Let them pick an outfit or pick between two outfits that you choose (depending on age and stage!).
- Have a breakfast they enjoy, even if they’re planning to eat breakfast at school. Take the time to just be together. Calm is the order of the day.
- Take them to school on the first day if you want and your schedule allows (unless they’re dying to ride the bus–this is a big deal to lots of kids!) but don’t hover. It sends the message that you’re not sure if things are going to go well.
- Give them hugs, tell them you love them, and smile. It will be all right!
Follow Up with Your Kids
We all are guilty of the old, “How was school today?” There’s really not anything wrong with that.
- If kids seem especially negative, encourage them to list 3 positive/happy/good things about their day.
- Ask if they saw Ms. Smith, the Administrative Assistant they met on your school visit or if they saw any of the kids from soccer.
Pro tip for connecting at your new school: This is a great time to join a club or sport. Elementary, middle, and high schools usually have a multitude of student organizations. Groups always recruit at the beginning of the school year and are often open to new people throughout the year.
After the first few weeks, you’re likely to see kids settle into a good routine.
- If you have concerns, email the teacher just to see what his/her perspective is on the adjustment and see what suggestions he/she has. Go from there.
I wish you the best!